We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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