You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
