ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
