what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
