Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
