last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
