Porn is love you can see.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
