i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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