Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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