): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
