i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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