I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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