I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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