I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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