I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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