dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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