Whod you bang
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I want a musical about memes.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
