i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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