Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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