the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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