u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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