hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
