here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
