Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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