We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
