and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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