you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
