My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
never play flip cup with pint glasses
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
