Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
