I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
