Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize