yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
