But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Are my feet made of real feet?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
