You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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