1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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