Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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