rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
