you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
