Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Randomize
