you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i dont even know how to be here
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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