I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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