I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
