There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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