So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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