8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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