no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
