a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
