Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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