She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
