Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
