i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
