I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
