super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Did I show you my penis last night?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
