Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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