Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
