I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
