i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
