Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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