Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Screwed.edu
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
