how hairy? two words: wookie tits
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
