im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize