Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's rum buckets o'clock
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
