What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize